Shyness often starts in childhood, it can come from your
upbringing, the environment you grew up in or perhaps you inherited it
through a parent as a personality trait.
There are many factors for shyness. Feeling scared to do or say what you truly want is extremely restrictive with people. You may find yourself often choosing to opt out from all social situations.
Other People Around You
Maybe people are telling you to just "get over it". Maybe are giving your advice as if social anxiety is like turning on and off a light switch.
It's not a realistic approach.
Trying to simply block out the fear won't get you very far. But fear not. There is hope. With the right understanding and action, the majority of people trying to overcoming social anxiety and shyness can gain self-confidence and feel more comfortable in social situations. That means - you.
Shyness or intense social anxiety can have an impact on every part of your life. From just hanging out with friends and family to dating and forming mature relationships.
Worrying Too much
When by yourself, your thoughts have lots of time to wander.
You might for example sit and consider your past, with unhelpful thoughts about your self, others and the world. When this was me, my self-confidence in dealing with situations felt like it was in the gutter.
I worried about things and felt extremely low and anxious, nearly to the point where I thought about ending my life. The less I did, the worse I felt. The worse I felt, the less I did. It was a vicious cycle.
The Vicious Cycle
The less you do, the worse you really feel.
This really is frequently the cycle of social anxiety. The much less I did, the more I worried or chewed over the past. This in turn made me feel paralyzed with sadness and I would make even fewer attempts at connecting with people.
This is damaging to you and you do not deserve that. You're as good as anybody else and also you deserve to be the best and be treated nicely by yourself and others. Stand in front of a mirror, take a good long look at yourself.
You're worth being with people who love and care about you. You have to accept yourself first.
Speaking to Individuals About How I Felt
This was a significant hurdle for me. To inform one individual how I felt was a significant leap forward.
When I was overcoming social anxiety and shyness I avoided all possible social circumstances I could get away with. I thought I wasn't good enough for anyone.
How could I even start a conversation? What interesting things could I possibly have to say? It was easier to not go but avoiding each gathering made the feelings worse and also the anxiety increased.
Finally Facing the World
Fantastic things come from little beginnings. One little step can really feel like a giant leap. Repeatedly, taking that same small step makes that stage manageable and the anxiousness is reduced. For example I was invited to my neighbour's home for a cup of coffee.
The idea of creating conversation with a stranger filled me with panic, he was a brand new neighbour and worry filled my thoughts. What if he met me and did not like me, he would have to deal with me for years, possibly. What if he told other neighbors that I was the weirdo on the street.
It was far safer to stay at home. To try and break this cycle I decided to attempt to talk to him as his vehicle pulled in the driveway. I used a strategy of counting in my head whilst considering a beach scene which I found relaxing.
It created a calm place for me to being a conversation. Initially I found this thinking technique difficult but over time it worked for me.
I began by exchanging a hello and some polite basic conversation. More than a number of times my anxiousness levels had been decreased and I was in a position to move onto the following stage before finally having that coffee.
Speaking Your Mind
This really is frequently an area of fantastic difficulty in overcoming social shyness. Telling individuals how you really feel for a lot of sufferers of social anxiety is very difficult. A great starting point would be to make a list of feelings. How many words connected with feelings can you verbalize?
Try to begin a sentence with 'I feel', for instance simply telling the neighbour you feel let down when a parcel didn't arrive is really a good starting point in expressing your self and realising you have worth within the globe.
Your feelings count as you are essential. Reminding your self that you have value is important in taking the first steps to overcoming social anxiousness and shyness.
There are many factors for shyness. Feeling scared to do or say what you truly want is extremely restrictive with people. You may find yourself often choosing to opt out from all social situations.
Other People Around You
Maybe people are telling you to just "get over it". Maybe are giving your advice as if social anxiety is like turning on and off a light switch.
It's not a realistic approach.
Trying to simply block out the fear won't get you very far. But fear not. There is hope. With the right understanding and action, the majority of people trying to overcoming social anxiety and shyness can gain self-confidence and feel more comfortable in social situations. That means - you.
Shyness or intense social anxiety can have an impact on every part of your life. From just hanging out with friends and family to dating and forming mature relationships.
Worrying Too much
When by yourself, your thoughts have lots of time to wander.
You might for example sit and consider your past, with unhelpful thoughts about your self, others and the world. When this was me, my self-confidence in dealing with situations felt like it was in the gutter.
I worried about things and felt extremely low and anxious, nearly to the point where I thought about ending my life. The less I did, the worse I felt. The worse I felt, the less I did. It was a vicious cycle.
The Vicious Cycle
The less you do, the worse you really feel.
This really is frequently the cycle of social anxiety. The much less I did, the more I worried or chewed over the past. This in turn made me feel paralyzed with sadness and I would make even fewer attempts at connecting with people.
This is damaging to you and you do not deserve that. You're as good as anybody else and also you deserve to be the best and be treated nicely by yourself and others. Stand in front of a mirror, take a good long look at yourself.
You're worth being with people who love and care about you. You have to accept yourself first.
Speaking to Individuals About How I Felt
This was a significant hurdle for me. To inform one individual how I felt was a significant leap forward.
When I was overcoming social anxiety and shyness I avoided all possible social circumstances I could get away with. I thought I wasn't good enough for anyone.
How could I even start a conversation? What interesting things could I possibly have to say? It was easier to not go but avoiding each gathering made the feelings worse and also the anxiety increased.
Finally Facing the World
Fantastic things come from little beginnings. One little step can really feel like a giant leap. Repeatedly, taking that same small step makes that stage manageable and the anxiousness is reduced. For example I was invited to my neighbour's home for a cup of coffee.
The idea of creating conversation with a stranger filled me with panic, he was a brand new neighbour and worry filled my thoughts. What if he met me and did not like me, he would have to deal with me for years, possibly. What if he told other neighbors that I was the weirdo on the street.
It was far safer to stay at home. To try and break this cycle I decided to attempt to talk to him as his vehicle pulled in the driveway. I used a strategy of counting in my head whilst considering a beach scene which I found relaxing.
It created a calm place for me to being a conversation. Initially I found this thinking technique difficult but over time it worked for me.
I began by exchanging a hello and some polite basic conversation. More than a number of times my anxiousness levels had been decreased and I was in a position to move onto the following stage before finally having that coffee.
Speaking Your Mind
This really is frequently an area of fantastic difficulty in overcoming social shyness. Telling individuals how you really feel for a lot of sufferers of social anxiety is very difficult. A great starting point would be to make a list of feelings. How many words connected with feelings can you verbalize?
Try to begin a sentence with 'I feel', for instance simply telling the neighbour you feel let down when a parcel didn't arrive is really a good starting point in expressing your self and realising you have worth within the globe.
Your feelings count as you are essential. Reminding your self that you have value is important in taking the first steps to overcoming social anxiousness and shyness.
Jason Ellis has been showing people strategies for dealing with social anxiety for years. Be sure to check out his free video series for overcoming social anxiety and shyness at http://www.SocialAnxietyFix.com.
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